Mistress of the Universe (finds a new home)

Well, I suppose it must be time to come clean. All the fine folks here at WordPress having been living in a state of constancy, not realizing that you have actual royalty in your midst. I, Livlife, am Mistress of the Universe. I know, I know, it is a lofty title and you’re all bowing and scraping in awe of my awesomeness. Don’t worry, I’m generous with my friends. ­čśë

I just thought you should know, as my powers were in high-gear last week. I saved someone’s LIFE! Okay, the “someone” was actually a turtle, Speedy (he’s Fasty’s less-famous cousin), but still, he was in mortal danger. Buuut, let us back up just a moment to tell you the bizarre portion of the story.

One fine evening last week, my parents and I were sitting around outside, at their house. We were just chatting away, as we so often do. It was a very fun and pleasant conversation. I have no actual recollection of the conversational train that brought us there, but we ended up discussing hitting animals in the road. My mom and I mentioned how we’d go to great lengths not to hit an animal, whatever it was. Dad was less–shall we say, effusive?–in his agreement. Mom then said how she’d even stop in the middle of the road to move a turtle out of the way. I said, excitedly, so would I! And, of course I would. Who wouldn’t? Turtles are so slow they can’t possibly save themselves, they need our help. Well, turns out, my dad is in the┬áminuscule┬ácamp of those not willing to rescue a turtle. He said that he just can’t understand why we would risk our own lives just to save a turtle.

I was appalled at his logic and we (good-naturedly) argued a bit about who had the right thinking. Obviously, it was me. After all, I AM the Mistress of the Universe. Flash forward to noon the next day. (The conversation had taken place about 8pm the night before). I am driving home from work when I notice something in the road. I didn’t really see it until I was past it. I immediately slowed down and waited for a break in traffic so I could turn around and drive back to the spot. I was so sure it was nothing. A rock or some dirt or an oil stain.

I got back and sure enough, there was a turtle on the road! What are the odds? It has actually been YEARS since I’ve had the opportunity to rescue a turtle-it doesn’t happen every day-and then, a mere 16ish hours after that conversation with my dad, I find a turtle on the road in need of rescue.


He was just sitting there, looking terrified. He started to poke his head out, but apparently that was too dangerous, or else it hurt too much. He was on the shoulder of this very busy road, but I was still worried. What if he turned around? I don’t think turtles are actually known for their striking brilliance.

I went to pick him up and that’s when I noticed a problem.


There was blood coming from him. This is going to sound stupid absurd, but I didn’t know that turtles bleed. Really? Anyway, grand turtle doctor that I am, I checked him out. Right at his left armpit, his shell was cracked. Not terribly, but definitely cracked. He looked like he’d probably been clipped by a tire. He was still alive and though I couldn’t see much under his shell, he didn’t appear to be terribly hurt, despite the pool of blood. (And though it may not look like alot, think of the size of a turtle…)

I eventually moved him to a safer locale, just off the edge of a pond.


His new home. Temporarily, I guess, as I stopped the next day and couldn’t find him. I’m assuming that meant he was alright.

Yep, I sure saved Speedy’s life. No doubt about it. I should add that to my growing resume of amazing skills…

3 thoughts on “Mistress of the Universe (finds a new home)

  1. What prompted that whole conversation was the “jumper” off the White Bear Ave. bridge into traffic and 3 cars hit her. Moved on to hitting animals and trying not to hit animals…turtles. And of course the whole Katie Juhl story. Remember???

  2. Ah! That’s exactly what it was. Good memory, Mom! I’m impressed…I knew it was odd, what we were talking about but the train of though just escaped me. Probably I was trying to block it out.

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