The Blogs

We’re going to take a break from our whirlwind tour of Chicago, to talk about something that happened today. Or, actually, many somethings.

First, I was so tired last night I went to bed at 9:30. That’s cool, right? I was out in approximately…damn, does anyone know how long it actually takes for your head to hit the pillow? I slept like a log, right up until 4:30 am. That’s right, my day began at 4:30 when I was rudely jolted awake by – nothing at all. I have no idea what woke me up. I was warm, comfortable, I didn’t need to pee, there were no loud noises, AND I WAS STILL TIRED. So why did I wake up? No one will ever know. This is doomed to be one of life’s great mysteries.

The terrible part, and I mean the truly terrible part, is that I was having the BEST dream. Possibly the best dream ever. I dreamed I was in Madison, visiting my friend Niki, and our friend Frodo was there. They took me to a piano bar. (Is there even a piano bar in Madison?) We were sitting on a leather couch, eerily similar to the one in my living room, and this announcer (because all piano bars have announcers) says, “please give a warm welcome for Christian Kane”. And I flipped my shit. No kidding. I went teenage, the-beatles-are-here, bat shit crazy, in my dream. The whole audience was looking at me because I was screaming and it turned out I was the only CK fan in the bar. The only one. Which is sad, of course, and extremely awesome. So, he comes on the stage and Niki and Frodo are asking me, “do you know this guy?”, because I’m freaking out. And I’m all “of COURSE I do, it’s Christian KANE, he’s my favorite singer” but then I remember they don’t read my blog and they might not know that. But there he is, on the stage and he’s about four feet in front of our leather couch. It’s just him and his guitar and he sits on a stool and he sings. Oh and he had short hair. Which was weird, because he has long hair and I adore his hair and I don’t know why I’d dream about him otherwise, except I’m watching reruns of Angel and he had short hair while he was in Angel, so maybe that’s why.

Fine, so he starts to sing and he opens with my favorite song – Different Kind of Knight. Then he rolls into my next two favorite songs by him. Then, he pauses for breath, looks right at me and says, “what do you want me to sing next?” and – BAM! – I’m jerked into wakefulness. Maybe my heart stopped in my dream because he talked to me. I don’t know. But then I’m awake. So I lay there and I remember every second. I could even tell you what shirt he was wearing. Crystal clear. But I cannot get back to sleep. At all. Laying there, laying there, laying there.

Pretty soon an hour passes. 5:30 am. I begin to think about what I can get up and read. Then I realize that I forgot to take out my garbage and recycling last night because I was so tired. So I get up and do that. Isn’t that what everyone does before six in the morning on a Friday?

I finally left for work. The whole drive in, my left eye was watering and my eyelashes itch. Yes, I know it’s weird, but my left eyelashes itch. Still.

I got to work and the parking lot is full. Normally, on Fridays, there are so few people here, I get to park by the front door. Today, for some reason, so many cars I can’t park in the west lot at all, I drive to the east lot and it is full I had no choice and parked in visitor parking, which I am not supposed to do, but I did anyway.

I arrived at the library and right away something was up. My Kleenex box, left out for student use, was all messed up. Who would pull all the tissues out and then stuff them back in? Then, I looked closer and realized someone had done this:

Who does that? But isn’t it awesome? No note. Just left for me to find. Wacky and wonderful, my favorite kind of surprise.

Then, a full two weeks ahead of schedule the guys show up to remove my slat wall from the library. Ahead of schedule. When does that happen…um, never is the answer. It means, though, that there are guys drilling about 8 feet from where I sit. Normally, that wouldn’t bother me, but I’m a bit off because I’ve already been awake for over six hours and it is only 10:45 am. Plus, I’ve got Kleenex flowers and itchy eyelashes and an interrupted dream. I should be crabby. I should. This day is weird. But, I’m not. I’m in surprisingly good cheer. AGAIN. Third day in a row that my mood just can’t be beat. Reiki massage. More on that later. (Because this is weird enough and I’m still not done). Also, I just stopped to sop up that watery left eye. WTF? (And if anyone suggests I’m getting sick, I might actually use the voodoo doll I own, {thanks, Mindy} to reign fire and doom upon your life. I am healthy as a goddamn horse! Someone suggested I was sick earlier this week because I sneezed. Once. One sneeze and he was all, “you poor thing, it’s going around.” What does that mean? I just sneezed. People do sneeze when they are not ill. And it is birthday month and I don’t get sick in birthday month, that’s a commandment, get your Bible and check it out. Also, could this little parenthetical note possibly be any longer? It’s a paragraph for Pete’s sake).

While checking my email this morning, I got this regular email that I subscribe to. It gives book recommendations. I love book recommendations. This morning, the entry began, “Happy Birthday, Girl!” and I thought it was written directly to me because my birthday is only six days away. SIX DAYS! (still time for presents, for you latecomers). My birthday is Thursday. I love saying that.

At any rate, I read the recs, most of it was junk. Kind of a letdown, after the exciting intro, which was actually about the author, whose birthday is today and she was reporting the books she’s most excited to read and she’s gifted herself with the weekend to do nothing but read. However, she wrote this one thing: “Then Jenny Lawson’s memoir, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, which is coming in April. Someone sent me this link to her blog, and I really did laugh until I cried.”

That made me curious, because that’s a strong statement to make in an email that goes out to many, many people. I generally find that my humor does not match up with the average Joe. When people post things on their blogs and say “read this” or “watch this” or whatever because it’s so funny, I never find it funny. But I always look, because who doesn’t want more funny in their lives?

The link takes you to a specific post of a blog called The Bloggess. That will give you some background if you’re interested. I read the post linked above, and no lie I was actually LOL. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that phrase? I do, I detest it. People don’t use it right. I think I’ve ranted about this before, it seems familiar. I’m going to check. Pause, please. Okay, I can’t find it. Maybe I’m delirious from getting up so early. Back to my new favorite blog.

For the record, I follow 75 blogs. Nope, not a typo. That’s an INsane number of blogs, I get that. Some don’t blog much, some are not “reading” blogs–that would be cooking blogs and a few humor blogs. In the last few weeks I’ve actually dropped five or six blogs. I drop a blog from my reader for inactivity, annoying habits, too many ads, too many “giveaways”, no more interest, what have you. But, I haven’t added a new one in quite some time. Mostly, when I find a new blog it is just more of the same. I pretty much already follow someone very similar.

Until now. The first page I read of The Bloggess had me in stitches (the link above) and then I clicked around and came across this. It’s from two days ago, just a random post. And, if it helps, Victor is her husband.

How often do I talk about other blogs on my blog? Rarely, I think. This one, though, just tickles my funny bone.

Okay, I think that sounds sufficiently crazy enough to post.

2 thoughts on “The Blogs

  1. Have you lost your mind? I’ve known you almost as long as your mother has and I’ve never ‘heard’ you ramble like that. Whew, I don’t know how you put up with me! It was like KellySpeak there!

    That’s how I sleep. Every single night. Fall asleep. Then wake. Can almost never get back to sleep and try weird things to try to get back to the wonderful state of sleep. Today 2:50. That’s why my eyes hurt so often. Soooooo tired. That’s why I’m in constant state of KellySpeak sooooo tired. I can’t believe it happens to you so often it was a blog. Well, I thought it was going to be a blog. It tried to be a blog at least;-)

    Thanks again for last night….amazing!

    • Um, it never happens to me. I don’t function well when I’m tired. Clearly. I never have. My brain doesn’t work right. I was goofy all day. I just reread it, it’s definitely rambly, but what is strange is that is what the inside of my head is like. My thoughts usually always are like that, but my brain filters things out before I speak. I guess lack of sleep shuts down the filters.

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