You are my last living grandparent. Sometimes I marvel that I have reached (almost) the age of 34 and still have a grandparent, not everyone is that blessed.
It’s hard with you, sometimes. We are very different people. You’ve led a very interesting life and I feel as though you have so much inside you that you could share. But you choose not to, it is not your way. Every person is different, we all make choices that baffle others around us. I feel like that is an apt description for us. We baffle each other.
I know I have little of the pragmatic German in me, I’m far more fanciful, hopeful and a dreamer. I get that from my mother. You know that. I’m sure you recognized right away that she is unlike anyone else in your family. I think it’s good, I think that families need different and unusual in order to challenge each other and thrive. I wonder how you see it.
I’ve spent a lot of years trying to understand you and why it is that we don’t connect, why we aren’t close. The truth is, we just see the world in different ways. There is nothing wrong with either of us, we’re both strong and bold and capable in our own ways, our ways are just vastly different from each other.
Sometimes it can make me sad. I wish that we were closer, that we could talk about things. I wish I knew what to say to you. I wish that you were interested in me and my life. But you are almost 95 years old and you aren’t going to change. Frankly, one of the few things I did inherit from you is stubbornness. I’m not going to change either, though, truthfully, I have tried.
As I grow older, I try hard to understand the world around me and my place in it. What I have learned from watching you is that family is incredibly important; that it isn’t necessary to be the center of attention; what’s important is to be in the center of your family. I’ve learned that hard work is what gets you to the finish line, shortcuts will not help you succeed. And I have learned that in order to be the person I want to be, I have to accept and tolerate that it takes all kinds in this world. I am not always going to agree or understand but I have to accept that people are different.
It’s not been easy to get there, but I think you would tell me that easy is overrated. The important things take time and effort. That’s something I take with me, something you helped me learn. That, and that it is important to always have candy in your house in case kids come over.
Thank you for being part of my life,
(to see why I am doing this, read here)