Dreaming

This morning I woke up with a dream in my brain. I was dreaming of a better life for someone I love. It sounds so nice to think of it like that. However, the problem is, the better life is what *I* want for this person not what he wants for himself. He’s never wanted things from life that I have wanted for him. He makes choices I don’t understand and decisions that mystify me. His life is not my own. It is his.

I think the hardest part of loving someone is realizing that you don’t get to make the choices. You don’t get to decide. You have to understand that they will choose what they choose. You can advise, you can suggest, you can help, but you cannot make someone be someone they are not.

All you really can do is love someone for who they are, bad decisions and all. You have to love them even when you don’t agree with them. You have to love them even when they scare you. You have to love them, even when they are at their most unlovable.

That is what it means to love. That is what it means to be a family.

It might have been a good dream, but that is all it will ever be. I need to let go and remember that I am not in control of this situation. I don’t get to decide what happens. All I can do is be there, for whatever comes next. All I need to do is keep on loving, because that is what he needs me for, right now.

I need to work on not letting my dreams get in the way.

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