Hey little brother. I didn’t get to post a letter yesterday, because I was with you, so I think it is only fitting that this letter is to you. Right now is a tough time for our family. For you. You’re going through a pretty hard time right now, you don’t even seem to realize it. I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that you think we hurt you. We didn’t. We are trying to help. We love you and want the best for you; I know that you know that, even if you can’t see it right now.
You are such a terrific guy. Sometimes I wonder if you truly understand that. You are kind and thoughtful, funny and so very smart. You and I are so much alike. We’ve always connected and been close. Right now, I’m not going to lie, that scares me. It’s also perhaps why I was the last one to see that you needed help. Maybe I didn’t want to see it or maybe I just couldn’t, but I was convinced you were just finding your way.
I wasn’t wrong, though. You are lost and you do need to find your way, you just needed help, instead of just time. Please just know that I am here for you. Your family is here for you. Know that I need you in my life. You. My brother, the one who can always makes me laugh. The one who stares in stupefaction at the theatrics that always accompany our other siblings. The one who loves trivia as much as I do. The one who sits for hours and discovers new music with me. The one who gets me to laugh at myself. The one who remembers everything. The one who listens and pays attention and remembers little things about me that everyone else has forgotten.
You are a huge and integral part of my life Zack. You need to be okay. But I need you to be okay, too. Please don’t forget that. And that you promised me you’d never make me cry. And don’t forget that I love you.
Thank you for being part of my life,
(to see why I am doing this, read here)