For some reason I’ve been dreading writing this letter. I finally decided it was just better to do it. You and I have really had a contentious relationship. I remember when we were young and used to fight like cats and dogs and people, adults, would say “you’ll get along when you’re older.”
How’s that working out for us?
I used to wish we got along better. I used to wish that you were a big brother I could count on. I used to wish we could be friends. However, I’ve realized that people are who they are and we can’t change that. All the things about you that frustrate me, well, I’m sure you have a list about me, too. We are just two very different people. We don’t share the same thought process, the same temperament, the same emotions, the same ideas, the same sense of humor, the same knowledge base – nothing. We are two different people born close together in the same family.
Yet, we are still part of the same family. We both have to respect that. We do have to see each other, we do have to spend time together, we do have to coexist. Even at our ages, I think we are still learning how to do that. I thought a lot about how you impacted my life. My first thought was that you made it so much harder. But I didn’t want to write that. Then, I realized that I was exactly right. You did make my life so much harder. And that helped me. The struggles and the challenges that you forced on me with your actions and your behavior have helped shape me into the person that I am.
Am I grateful to you? No, I’m really not. But I am grateful for the person that I am, so I guess there is that. I doubt that you and I will ever be friends, but I would like to get to the point where we do not carry all this anger and past history between us. That’s my life goal for the Nick Project. I guess.
Thank you for being part of my life,
(to see why I am doing this, read here)