The Danger of Brushing Your Hair

I’ve got a lot of hair, this surprises no one. It’s long and it’s curly, which usually means an intense amount of tangles. I have it down to a science on how to care for this unruly mop.

Most specifically, I brush it out, thoroughly, morning and night.

Think of how many times I’ve actually done this; brushed my hair. 365 days a year, twice each day. Let’s say I was 10 when my mother stopped telling me to brush my hair (I have no idea, I’m just throwing that out there) which makes 22 years+.

22years * 365 days = 8,030 days *2 times a day = 16,060 times I’ve brushed my hair, at a minimum.

That is an awful lot of hair brushing, we can all agree, right? One would also have to assume that brushing that much would also mean that I am pretty good at it, right? Of course.

So, what’s the problem?

The problem is that after 16,000 times brushing my hair, last night, while doing the thing I’ve done more than sixteen thousand times before (why does it seem like so much more when you spell it out?) I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my back. WHILE BRUSHING MY HAIR.

How embarrassing! The muscle is between my shoulder blades and the pain radiates upward into my neck. Which, naturally, makes me move like a robotic zombie today. I’m extremely uncomfortable and very stiff. People keep asking me, “what happened?” and I politely respond, “I pulled a muscle”. Some kinder folks are letting it go at that, but most people will then ask, “how?”

“Um, brushing my hair.”

I sound like an idiot. I clearly need to make up a better story for this. But, really, how on earth does that happen? Who pulls a muscle while brushing their HAIR?!?!?

I need a keeper.