Anticipation

Dear Camden,

We are now mere days from your birth. Your mom is going to be induced on February 7th, unless you choose to come before then. She invited me to go with her, which I am really excited about. I keep thinking about you arriving. It feels so very different this time around.

When Simon was born, or even your sister Arionna, there was so much anticipation, but also there was this feeling of unknown. With you, there is certainly still anticipation, but not much unknown. I know what it feels like to become an auntie, I know what it is like to hold a baby for the first time. I know what your name will be. I know that you are a boy. I know you will like be born on Thursday (2/7) or Friday (2/8) of this week (I think Thursday, but Grandma thinks Friday).

Yet somehow, this is still all brand new. I was thinking about this a lot this weekend and I realized that it doesn’t matter if you’re the third baby born into my family or the 300th, it’s new and exciting and special every time. And that is because of YOU. You will come into our family as your own little person. You will look like you and  no one else. You will develop your own personality and things that you like and dislike. In fact, by the time you read this, you’ll have already done all these things.

I don’t yet know if you will grow up to be blond or dark or have blue eyes or green or brown, these things are still a mystery. But what gets me excited is that I don’t know if you will like to let me read to you. Or if you will like to sing songs with me. Will you enjoy watching movies? Perhaps you will be more rough-and-tumble. You might like to sit quietly and watch or jump in head first and experience. Maybe you will be a cuddler or you might like to be alone when you fall asleep. You might be sassy and have a wicked sense of humor or you could be sweet and have a snarky sense of humor.

The options are endless, there is absolutely no limit to what you can be. It is my fondest hope that you grow up to be simply one thing above all. Happy. I don’t care if you choose to be a doctor or a lawyer or a painter or an accountant or a bartender, just choose a life that makes you happy.

It won’t always be easy, Cam, and you won’t always enjoy the process to figuring yourself out. That’s okay, that’s supposed to happen, but remember this. You can always come to your Auntie Livi. I’ll be on your side and I’ve got a world of wisdom and mistakes that I’m happy to share with you. Plus, I’m funny and fun and there aren’t a lot of rules at my house. Just ask your sister.

You aren’t always going to get along with your sister, either. I’m the second in my family, too, so I understand how hard it can be to follow in the shadow of a dynamic older sibling. It won’t be easy and it won’t always be fun. Try to remember that she loves you and that, even when you think she’s a pain, that she really is a wonderful person and that she has really been looking forward to having you in her life.  And, while it will certainly be fun to have you both coming to visit and spending the night, I promise you that every so often it will be just you, so we can have our own special time and you won’t have to be the little brother.

I sure can’t wait to meet you, Camden, and see the start of the possibilities of your life. It’s so amazing to be just beginning and I promise you, it will keep on getting better from here. Hurry up and get here, my little nephew, you have a whole big family just waiting to love you.

Love always,

Your favorite auntie Livi

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